Given the high rates of depression and anxiety suffered by high-school students–especially at a place as demanding as Groton–it is little surprise that the counseling office is a frequent topic of conversation here. And, more often than not, that discussion turns critical. Many of us have had some sort of interaction with this part of Groton, and, from what I can tell, some of those experiences have been negative. My first experience certainly was, anyway. But my second was not.

My first experience with the counseling office was in January of ninth grade. It doesn’t really matter why, but I ended up having to leave for a few weeks. It wasn’t my choice to leave, and I wasn’t able to choose when I would return. It felt, altogether, very similar to being suspended. I felt as if, by being depressed, I had done something very, very wrong.

So after that, every time I heard someone bring up the counseling office, I would immediately jump in with my two-cents. I probably discouraged some people from seeking help they desperately needed, and I definitely have doubted people who have told me that, in fact, they had a good experience and were able to get the help they needed. I am not proud of either of those two things. 

I avoided that office successfully for two years, but this winter I went against everything I thought I believed and ended up sitting in a chair in the counseling office, waiting to meet with someone. I did not need a therapist; I already had one (I have met with the same psychiatrist in New York for just over two years). I needed someone to help me deal with the issues that were arising in my work and grades because of my mental health.

I left the counseling wing feeling like a weight had come off my chest. When I talked to my friends about this, I was surprised to hear them say that they too had had good experiences with the counselors here as well – previously, all I had heard were the stories of bad ones. The counseling office is not perfect, as we all know. There have been mistakes made, as in every area of this school’s complex system. But the counselors also help many students every day, and that cannot be discounted, as, far too often, it is. For every student who leaves feeling confused or sad, there is another student who leaves feeling hopeful and understood. With counseling, there is no one-size-fits-all. Every person deals with their personal problems differently, and it’s unreasonable to believe that a collection of three of four people will know right away which way is best to approach your issues. It takes time to find a solution to a multi-faceted, complex problem, particularly an emotional one.

The counseling office is here to help students, even though I know it doesn’t always feel like that. I don’t think that we should stop critiquing the counseling program here – if we stop doing that, things will get worse – but I think there should be more acknowledgement of what the counseling office does well. No one who is suffering should feel like going to the counseling office is a waste of time just because of stories they’ve heard from complaint-prone peers.