Dear Third Form Hanna,

Hello, little insignificant Third Form Hanna. I hate to break it to you, but you are going to look back on yourself a couple of years from now and shudder in embarrassment. Everything you do now is going to seem awkward, embarrassing, and ridiculous, but it’s okay, because you are still awkward, embarrassing, and ridiculous, just slightly less so.

Upper School is a good time; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You have lots of excitement waiting for you, so don’t worry about getting old and boring just yet. You are going to become even closer to your friends, and you are going to meet lots of new people, especially because once you’re in Upper School, you’ll cross paths with students a lot more frequently.

Savor your sleep! There will be times in Upper School when you’re awake at strange hours of the day with some caffeine-containing beverage stagnating next to you while you are typing furiously away on your computer. You might feel like you have a lot of work now, but believe me, there’s a lot more where that came from. But honestly, all the work you’ll have to do soon is fascinating and stunning: it’s thrilling in a way that you won’t understand now.

Remember when you used to talk about how Fifth Formers were never around because they were always so busy living their studious Fifth Form lives? There are definitely times when I am cooped up in my room with work, but most of the time I’m just not around because I am sitting in my room laughing at ridiculous things with Kai, your future roommate. I hope you are being nice to her, because she will get you through your toughest times. You’re so lucky to have met her.

I’ve emerged a lot from the shell you are building and fortifying around yourself—I’d like to tell you to dismantle it immediately, but you probably think you are doing the right thing, so it’s going to be hard to dissuade you from retreating into yourself.

I know it’s scary, having come from thousands of miles away to a vibrant, vivacious place like a female Third Form dorm. But I want to tell you that right now, I wish I would have made the friends I have now earlier. I feel like I wasted a lot of time that I could have spent with them. At least I can tell you that you will get to know beautiful and lovely people whom you can rely on for everything you are trying to keep to yourself in that shell of yours.

You are very unfashionable. I’m sorry, but I’ve seen photos of you and playlists that you are creating, and wow, you have a long way to go. I’m not saying that I’m fashionable right now, but you can only go up from where you are now. Justin Bieber will return from the dark place he is in right now, and One Direction will split up, but you don’t care and I still don’t care.

Just a warning: there is currently a man named Donald Trump running for president, and this man is kind of terrifying. He has said some terrible things, and I hope I don’t have to send you a letter in a few years telling you that the United States, your fourth home, has become an unwelcoming, uncomfortable place.

There have been more shootings across the nation and terrorist attacks all over the world. There’s a lot of hate right now, but wonderful things have happened too, like the legalization of gay marriage across the United States, the Paris agreement endorsed by 195 countries, and a space probe that gets really darn close to Pluto for the first time, and although you won’t believe me when I tell you, you survive AP Chemistry.

I know you don’t like it when anyone tells you this, but don’t worry: everything will turn out okay. Everything will make sense to you in a while, because after you have time to think, everything scary and bad kind of drifts away into the dark corner in your mind that you forget about after a while. You will fall off the course at ISLs, and you are going to be absolutely devastated, but you’ll make up for it, I promise. You will see grades you think are dismal, but you can always do worse and better. You’re going to get really sick (you are probably past the pneumonia you had in the fall), but you never even visit the Health Center this year!

Be nice to Mom and Dad because they are always worrying and thinking about you. Be nice to your friends, especially Kai, because who else will you turn to when things get almost unbearable? Be nice to your teachers because you’ll realize how much they have affected the way you think and the immense amount of time they have given up for you. Be nice to all the people at Groton who make your life that much easier and more exciting. The next few years are going to go by so quickly, whether you like it or not, so be careful that you don’t have more regrets than gratitude.

You’re doing well. I’ll see you soon.

With Love,

Fifth Form Hanna